I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.