Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.