As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.