I can't watch pbs sober anymore
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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