dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets