Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason