I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
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Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
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