Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me