Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.