Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.