i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
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drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
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How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.