He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
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for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
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he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...