One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?