I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.