the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.