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Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
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