i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
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A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
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i think i have herpe
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something