So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.