He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
singing on the bus should be illegal
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.