If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Semen is not good for contacts.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?