Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Minnesota (507)

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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.

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  (507): Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars. http://tfl.nu/c0o9
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  security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?

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  (507): security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs? http://tfl.nu/7ki8
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  I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.

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  We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.

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  (507): I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies. (1-507): We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA. http://tfl.nu/9erc
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  there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut

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  (507): there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut http://tfl.nu/7k06
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  Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.

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  (507): Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss. http://tfl.nu/1ntp
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  I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why

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  (507): I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why http://tfl.nu/wixc
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  You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"

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  (507): You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!" http://tfl.nu/pues
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  It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.

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  (507): It's a special occasion. Hence the 151. http://tfl.nu/vp1j
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  i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'

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  (507): i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor' http://tfl.nu/w930
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  i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.

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  (507): i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches. http://tfl.nu/cp2j
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  I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.

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  (507): I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it. http://tfl.nu/rt4x
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  I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.

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  (507): I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner. http://tfl.nu/ny52
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  I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...

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  (507): I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs... http://tfl.nu/9q2b
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  We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.

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  (507): We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night. http://tfl.nu/sjq5
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  drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to

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  (507): drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to http://tfl.nu/z3ca
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