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Last Night in Pennsylvania (412)

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i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes

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(412): i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes http://tfl.nu/hjgx

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I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.

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(412): I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts. http://tfl.nu/rew4

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Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."

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(412): Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes." http://tfl.nu/8fia

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Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.

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(412): Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken. http://tfl.nu/9881

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he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?

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(412): he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went? http://tfl.nu/rnh5

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Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.

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(412): Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super. http://tfl.nu/bpjq

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You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...

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(412): You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this... http://tfl.nu/lqse

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he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.

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(412): he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along. http://tfl.nu/2jm5

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I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"

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(412): I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this" http://tfl.nu/4n5n

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At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.

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(412): At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that. http://tfl.nu/pr0e

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Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?

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(412): Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween? http://tfl.nu/zwxr

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Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.

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(412): Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody. http://tfl.nu/qy8l

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My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now

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(412): My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now http://tfl.nu/563a

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Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year

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(412): Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year http://tfl.nu/b3y5

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I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."

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(412): I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people." http://tfl.nu/j747

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Last Night in Pennsylvania (412)

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