Last Night in California (323)

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• (323): View more from California

  I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.

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• (323): View more from California

  Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?

  (1-323): View more from California

  We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?

  (323): View more from California

  Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.

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• (323): View more from California

  You got in a fight last night?

  (818): View more from California

  Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.

  (323): View more from California

  Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?

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• (323): View more from California

  The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.

  (1-323): View more from California

  Did you put it in the freezer again?

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• (323): View more from California

  I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?

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• (323): View more from California

  Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.

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• (323): View more from California

  hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.

  (323): View more from California

  to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.

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• (323): View more from California

  my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.

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• (323): View more from California

  Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.

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• (323): View more from California

  Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.

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• (323): View more from California

  She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.

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• (323): View more from California

  Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you

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• (323): View more from California

  this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude

  (765): View more from Indiana

  call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing

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• (323): View more from California

  When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.

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