Texts From Last Night

Last Night in California (323)

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  I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.

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  (323): I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom. http://tfl.nu/rbnh
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  Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?

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  We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?

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  Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.

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  (323): Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender? (1-323): We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out? (323): Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture. http://tfl.nu/sr23
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  You got in a fight last night?

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  Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.

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  Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?

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  (323): You got in a fight last night? (818): Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since. (323): Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you? http://tfl.nu/hf09
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  The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.

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  Did you put it in the freezer again?

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  (323): The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child. (1-323): Did you put it in the freezer again? http://tfl.nu/uvmz
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  I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?

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  (323): I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes? http://tfl.nu/rey6
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  Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.

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  (323): Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl. http://tfl.nu/6wl6
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  hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.

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  to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.

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  (323): hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun. (323): to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend. http://tfl.nu/i9i1
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  my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.

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  (323): my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation. http://tfl.nu/m27j
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  Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.

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  (323): Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle. http://tfl.nu/1g9t
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  Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.

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  (323): Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering. http://tfl.nu/bd5j
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  She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.

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  (323): She really thought E.D. was a sexually position. http://tfl.nu/ymfw
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  Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you

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  (323): Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you http://tfl.nu/a4zz
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  this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude

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  call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing

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  (323): this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude (765): call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing http://tfl.nu/wjo2
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  When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.

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  (323): When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection. http://tfl.nu/ukok
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  are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions

  (310): View more from California

  i wish

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  (323): are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions (310): i wish http://tfl.nu/mg2v
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