not ubering you a puppy
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.