WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap