I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???