Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.