I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.