Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
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He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
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I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.