There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
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it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
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Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink