Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.