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If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
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