Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.