I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left