I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
you never un-have a 4some
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.