All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
you never un-have a 4some
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
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All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
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Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers