All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??