There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
you never un-have a 4some
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Dating After Heartbreak
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.