I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
you never un-have a 4some
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.