I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
you never un-have a 4some
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment