He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I believe in your delicious