Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (732)

Last Night in New Jersey (732)

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That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball

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(732): That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball http://tfl.nu/r3bp

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This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?

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(732): This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with? http://tfl.nu/hn5g

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Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out

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(732): Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out http://tfl.nu/mgiw

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soon, soon....

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I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....

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(732): soon, soon.... (908): I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus..... http://tfl.nu/hpc3

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Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome

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(732): Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome http://tfl.nu/8jcl

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I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.

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(732): I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist. http://tfl.nu/ae21

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When / where did the additional couches appear?

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Additional?

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James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.

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(908): When / where did the additional couches appear? (732): Additional? (908): James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up. http://tfl.nu/kn0g

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Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.

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(732): Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age. http://tfl.nu/drps

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it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...

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(732): it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits... http://tfl.nu/8y9r

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She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.

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(732): She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked. http://tfl.nu/ufw5

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Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.

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(732): Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking. http://tfl.nu/mu8a

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You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.

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you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.

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IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.

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(732): You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home. (732): you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato. (732): IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME. http://tfl.nu/cjpu

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So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid

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(732): So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid http://tfl.nu/ju72

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So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.

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(732): So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury. http://tfl.nu/d7aw

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My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.

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(732): My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe. http://tfl.nu/2f1v

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Last Night in New Jersey (732)

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