I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.