ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.