So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I believe in your delicious
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
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He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.