Texts From Last Night

Last Night in New Jersey (732)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs http://tfl.nu/vyur
  Replies (6) Good night (1974) Bad night (431) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink. http://tfl.nu/afd8
  Replies (4) Good night (2426) Bad night (581) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up. http://tfl.nu/3kb7
  Replies (21) Good night (3953) Bad night (846) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): 4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move http://tfl.nu/7ba1
  Replies (6) Good night (3598) Bad night (545) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night http://tfl.nu/6kh8
  Replies (11) Good night (2192) Bad night (775) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid. http://tfl.nu/5186
  Replies (4) Good night (2425) Bad night (613)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals". http://tfl.nu/oep3
  Replies (16) Good night (3515) Bad night (1043)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL... http://tfl.nu/zpti
  Replies (6) Good night (1766) Bad night (764) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week http://tfl.nu/ig19
  Replies (7) Good night (2727) Bad night (642) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE http://tfl.nu/cfpm
  Replies (7) Good night (1141) Bad night (1603) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'? http://tfl.nu/6mt1
  Replies (2) Good night (2356) Bad night (753) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love! http://tfl.nu/kaje
  Replies (9) Good night (4370) Bad night (593) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air. http://tfl.nu/4jlr
  Replies (3) Good night (1480) Bad night (811) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs. http://tfl.nu/h7d3
  Replies (12) Good night (3291) Bad night (801) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though http://tfl.nu/qwoj
  Replies (4) Good night (676) Bad night (1290) Order T-Shirt