You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I'm bleeding and have questions
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.