Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?