P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.