Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
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VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.