I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.