Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I need a beard to bite.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm