If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it