Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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