so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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