bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
