But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
