I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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