don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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