I am in a vortex of obligation.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
we should paint friendship bongs
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