Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i think my mom watched the whole time
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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