Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
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It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
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Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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