Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
