I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
