You're so nebulous sometimes
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize