Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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